I know you thought that three foot tall velvet top hat was going to look good with your “I'M WITH STUPID” shirt, for some reason. What you didn't think about when you assessed your outfit were the three thousand people standing behind you. I bet they're all thinking “Wow, that's a fine hat! I'd much rather see that hat than Lady Gaga! The money I paid for these tickets sure was worth it to see a fine hat like that.” Oh, wait, I meant none of them are thinking that. It doesn't matter how many flowers or joker cards or taxidermied birds adorn its brim. By the forth or fifth time your hat gets in the way the of the guitarist's signature move, it's not so pretty any more.
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